Round Robin Number One "Rocky Mountain Sigh" Contributing authors: Barb, Abby, Mike, Kerry, Connie, Luisa, Ari, Heather and Rachael October, November, December 1996 "Rocky Mountain Sigh" Part One Barb begins: One morning, the family is gathered at the breakfast table. Miss Fine is late as normal. Maggie is whining to her dad. "But I don't WANT to go, Dad. A whole week in the Rocky Mountains in a cabin with nobody but these brats. Please dad, that would just be torture, not a vacation. Can't I just stay here with Fran?" Maxwell snorts "Last time I left you two alone look what happened. Who knows what would happen if I left for an entire week." "We'd be good. I promise. Besides, if I go, that will leave Fran here by herself. She's the one that threw the party. Not me." Brighton chimes in, "Yeah. Fran and Val will probably hit a different singles bar every night. By the time we get back, the place will look like a hurricane went through here." Maxwell looks up from his plate, realization slowly creeping across his face that leaving Miss Fine could be very dangerous, both for the house and for his feelings. ******** Abby adds: MAX All right. I guess I can't leave Miss Fine here without supervision. FRAN What?! NILES I'll be here, sir. MAX Exactly. She'll just have to come along with us. FRAN What?! MAGGIE What?! NILES What?! FRAN Uh, Mr. Sheffield... Me? In the wilderness? Without a blowdryer? Without a television? Without... Zabars???!!! MAX Oh Miss Fine, it'll be very liberating. Nothing but nature and the great outdoors. Right, Niles? NILES Oh yes. Very liberating, sir. (to Fran) Just like Waterloo. FRAN That's it! There's noooooo way you're gonna talk me into this one... MAX The moonlit nights. So quiet, so still, so.... romantic. FRAN OK, I'm in. Maggie, get a grip - it'll be fun. MAGGIE Fun for you. What am I gonna do? Birdwatch? Forage for berries? Get lost ,in the woods so you have to call a young handsome park ranger to rescue me... (PAUSE) OK, I'm in too! CC enters. CC Hello, hello. MAX Hello, CC. We were just planning our family trip to the Rocky Mountains. CC Really? Oh gee, can I come. Ha! This is one time I'm with Nanny Fine - you can keep the nature thing. NILES She's going with them. Spending the nights, too. In a cabin. With only two bedrooms. Gee, I wonder who she'll bunk with? CC Can I go? MAX Sorry, CC but you have to take care of business while I'm gone - we already discussed this. Niles will be here to see to all your needs. CC Not likely. NILES There are those who would beg to differ. CC There are those who would beg for anything. NILES You should know. CC In your dreams, houseboy. ******* And Mike Adds: 4 hours later: Maxwell walks down the stairs, reading some paperwork and turns towards the kitchen. He walks thru the door and a split second later, comes back out, a look of wonder on his face, the paperwork at his side, forgotten. He is looking at the pile of bags piled next to the front door. MAXWELL: NILES!!! What is all this? (Niles is coming down the stairs, bags under his arms and in both hands.) NILES: Miss Fine has decided to rough it, Sir! She is only going to take a few necessities. MAXWELL: We are only going for a week...not a millenia!!! NILES: She knows that, sir. That is why she is only taking 9 pairs of shoes. MAXWELL: Why 9 pairs? That would mean that she wears 2 pairs on the same day? Twice? NILES: But, Sir....if she steps in lion or elephant poopoo she couldn't possibly ever wear those shoes again. (And rolls his eyes) MAXWELL: Niles! We are going to the Rocky Mountains, not foraging the Amazon! NILES: Perhaps she believes there may be a foreign exchange program, sir! (And he starts back up the stairs) MAXWELL: Where are you going now? She can't possibly have more clothes to bring down? (An incredulous tone in his voice) NILES: No, sir! No more clothes. Now I shall labor with her make-up, and the cooler with her week's supply of bagels and cream cheese. MAXWELL: NILES!!! No more!! Would you please ask Miss Fine to come down here? NILES: Of course, sir!! (Starts up the stairs and then stops and turns back around) Please don't say she cannot take all of this, sir. Gravity helped me bring all of this down. I am afraid that it will not help me take it all back up. MAXWELL: Just get Miss Fine down here, Niles! NILES: (Sighs) Of course, sir, I am here but to serve. MAXWELL: Niles!? NILES: Sorry, sir. Carrying all those bags of Miss Fine's, I guess the aroma of so much vinyl went to my head. (Niles walks up the stairs and goes out of sight. A few moments later, Franny Fine comes sashaying down the steps) FRAN: Oh, Mr. Sheffield!! I never realized that roughing it could be so much fun!!! This is almost better than the after- Christmas sale at Gimbels! MAXWELL: Miss Fine, we are going camping in the Rocky Mountains. Why do you have so much luggage? FRAN: Oh, Mr. Sheffield! My cousin Ira was a boyscout once, and that little motto of theirs made so much sense. I just couldn't go out into the unknown without being prepared for everything. (Maxwell closes his eyes...the steam pouring from his ears beginning to be apparent.) MAXWELL: Miss Fine...we are going camping and hiking. We will be staying in tents the majority of the time. You will take only what you can carry for long distances! (Obviously thinking...a slow smile comes to the Nanny's face) ********** KERRY ADDS: Next Scene : All in the limo on the way to the airport. Maggie: Fran where did you put all your luggage? Fran: It's right here. ( picking up a small tiger striped back pack ) Maggie: No, I mean where did you put all the bags Niles brought downstairs. You know your 9 pairs of shoes etc. Fran: Oh that. Well your father made me realize that it would be silly to bring all those suitcases. He said to bring only what I could carry over long distances. Max: Good for you Miss Fine. I knew you would see reason. Fran: Of course. Why would I carry all my old clothes when I could just carry Mr. Sheffield's Umm I mean my credit cards and buy new stuff when we get there. Max: Miss Fine! Brighton: But Fran we are going into the wilderness. There aren't any stores for miles. Fran: Brighton, honey, there are 400 Lomans stores in the greater metropolitan area alone. There has got to be at least one in the entire Rocky Mountain area. Gracie: What did you bring in your backpack then? Fran: Oh, just some essentials. ( Going through the bag in a Mary Poppins bottomless bag kind of way ) Hairspray, eyeliner, nailpolish, my emergency shoes- in wilderness brown of course, curling iron, blowdryer and oh yes my pajamas. ( holding up a tiger striped teddy ) Gracie: Won't you be cold just wearing those pajamas? Fran: Not if I can help it. ( smiling at Maxwell ) Maxwell: Don't worry Gracie, I'll see to it that Miss Fine stays nice and warm. ( Cut to the cabin with Fran covered in a huge bearskin rug ) ********** Connie adds: The children, tired from their trip and short hike to scout out their new surroundings, had all turned in early. Fran, covered in the bearskin rug, was alone in front of the roaring stone fireplace. Her attention was drawn to the detail of this "rustic cabin" which would be her home for the next few days. It was considered a small log cabin by some standards. Two bedrooms, three baths, a large living room with a full bar, a kitchen with a microwave and built in grill. A wrap around porch hugged the entire exterior and on the rear porch was a hot tub for two. "This place makes Uncle Jack's condo in Boca look like a 3rd class hotel", she thought to herself. Max was in one of the bathrooms freshening up. He was about to shave his 5 o'clock shadow when Fran's words came rushing back into his memory. "Scruffy looks good on you", he remembers her saying when they had the plumbing problem her cousin was trying to fix. He decided not to shave and ran his fingers through his hair to give it that sexy, unkempt look. He was wearing his jeans and black turtleneck and that seductive cologne Fran had given him for his birthday. He was ready for whatever the evening brings. Max enters the livingroom carrying a bottle of champagne in one hand and two glasses in the other. Max: Well you look nice and toasty? Fran: Actually it is still rather chilly over here and I was just thinking to myself, "How can I get warm?" Max: Want some help? Fran: By all means, I'm open to suggestions. Max walks over to Fran and sits on the floor next to her. He places the champagne and glasses on a table close by. Max: Like the cabin? Fran: You rich people sure do know how to rough it! Max: Well we are roughing it. Niles isn't here to help us. We have to prepare our own meals, fix our own beds. It'll be good for the children. Build character. Fran: I know what you mean, it is amazing how much character building pouring your own Cheerios into a bowl can be. MAX: You know, you are right. It is chilly over here. Fran: And just how do you propose that we solve this chilling problem? Max: I do have a suggestion. After all I did promise Gracie I would see to it that you stay nice and warm. Don't want to go back on my word. Fran and Max were now turned facing each other. Fran: And???? Max: I hear tell that body heat sometimes helps. We could both share that rug you are wearing. Fran removes the bearskin rug and reveals that she is wearing her "Pajamas". Instead of the tiger stripped teddy, she was in that little red number Max had bought her in Paris. Max: (surpised but pleased) Those aren't the "pajamas" you showed us in the limo? Fran: I know. Those were my back-up pajamas, just in case this one met with an unfortunate accident. You like? I figured since we did not get to use it in Paris, we could maybe make up for lost time now. ********* LUISA ADDS: They stare deeply into each other's eyes, what could have been a long time, or 2 minutes.Maxwell brings her lips to his, and lands a sweet, but still passionate kiss on her. She hugs Max, and pulls him down, under the rug... With his body close, very close to hers. Suddenly, a cry is heard, "Fraaaaaan... Daaaaaaad!!!!!!!!!!" It's Grace's voice. This makes 'em jump up. And, in a second, they see Grace in the rug with them. "A monster!!! It wants to eat me!!!!!" Fran tries her best to look all right as she tries to fix her so-called- pajamas that Max cleverly had already begun unbuttoning. Max, on the other hand, also tries to look better, tucking his shirt in, 'cause Franny was fast to start taking everything off that cute body of his. And, of course, in another second, the lights are on, and Maggie and Brighten are in the living room. "What happened?!?!?!?" They both say as they sit next to Max, Fran, and Grace. "Well, I wouldn't know. Sweetie, what happened? And it better be good, 'cause you've just made your father and I stop our... Uh... Political discussion." Fran says quickly. "I was trying to go to sleep, and suddenly, I saw a monster coming near my bed!" "Honeeey, calm down! It was only shadows, there are no monsters here! And, believe me, if there were, they'd eat your brother first." Fran tries to calm her down. "That's right sweetheart, there's nothing to worry about, now run along." Max says, obviously wanting to be alone with Fran to, uh, discuss politics. Maggie and Brighton start to get up, but Grace's still kinda scared, "Fran, could you come sleep with me?" "I will sweetie, I mean, I'll be sleeping in your room -But she gives Max a knowing smile- I'll just be there in a couple of hours." "No, now... Fran please!! I'm scared!" "Honey, don't worry, Maggie will take care of you." But, when they glance at Maggie and Brighton, they're fast asleep on the couch. "Fraaaaan!" "Oh, all right." "Will you sleep in the same bed as me?" "Maggie will... Grace points at Maggie and Brighton asleep. Fine! I'll be there in a second, begin making room for me.. I don't want to sleep with Mr. Teddy Bear's family all around me." And Grace leaves. "I'm sorry." Fran says as she pats Max. He gives her a peck on the lips and she returns it, with double the passion. They're about to start 'discussing politics', when Grace's voice is heard. "C'mooooon!" And Fran gets up, almost hating Grace and leaving Max. Next morning... ******** ARI ADDS: Back in New York, 3000 miles away: Half way down the block, even with the pouring rain, C.C. Babcock could hear the racket. She had a headache to begin with, and soon she'd have to take that full blast! She was definitely working from home today. She knocked on the door, but there was no answer. Obviously Niles couldn't hear her over all the noise... or was it that he didn't want to hear her, and was playing one of his stupid games with her. She put her ear to the door, and tried to distinguish the sounds. The loudest was the stereo; there was also the TV, the blender, and what sounded like the vacuum. Damn him; he was doing this on purpose as not to have to let her in and keep her out in the damn rain! For a minute she considered banging on the door and screaming bloody murder, but she really didn't have the energy, and what's more, it would give her tormentor the embarrassing display he craved. Just as her temple began to throb to the Macerana inside, the music ceased and all appliances were silenced. The phone was ringing; then it stopped. C.C. was just about to use the opportunity to ring the doorbell, when all of a sudden the door opened to a scowling butler. "Mr. Sheffield said to turn down the noise and let you in," the irritating man said, the cellular phone in his hand, looking like a little boy who'd just been caught. C.C. smiled. "Your little tricks are getting old there, Niles," she stated, slowly removing her coat, her muscles aching with every movement. "And your getting a little old to be turning tricks," he responded. She winced, as her hand found her warm forehead. "What's wrong? Is someone out there wearing a crucifix?" Niles asked, reopening the door he'd half-way shut, looking at the people passing by. "No, Julia Child, I'm coming down with some (ACHOU!!!) thing," she said, making sure to sneeze, then cough in her adversary's face. "I just came by to grab some files from the office, and then I'll be off." "Are you sure? You know, maybe you shouldn't be flying around in this weather," Niles responded with renewed spirit. She sighed. She couldn't take this today. "Thanks for the concer..." Niles barely caught her, as she fell off the step from the foyer to the living room. She was warm indeed, her skin flushed, and her slightly disheveled hair, made her look quit fetching, so close up. Just as he was about to shake off that thought, her head lifted, and the azure pools, that were C.C. Babcock's eyes, bored through him, then glazed slightly, revealing how sick she was. He was swept away, for a moment, with tenderness, as he lead her to the couch to sit her down. "Thanks again," she weakly responded. "Ah, forget the work, I'll call you a cab," Niles said, virtually running to the door, and away from the fuzzy feelings he was having towards his sixteen year nemesis. He jotted out into the rain, which was now a sprinkle, and within a minute he'd been able to hail a cab. He was glad. He wanted her out of here. He told the cabbie to wait, then ran back to the house to get C.C., only to find her wrapped in the afghan he'd been folding before the phone call, asleep, and from the looks of her, exhausted. Again his heart melted, and his brain screamed back, throwing a hissy fit. Sighing and shaking his head, he ran back out and sent the disgruntled cabbie on his way. Niles definitely had a problem, two, if you counted the sick she- devil, covering his couch with who-knows-what kind of germs. ********** HEATHER ADDS: Niles goes into his room to have some thinking time, while CC is left fast asleep. Back with the Sheffields: Fran wakes up to the sound of a lot of laughing. She looks beside her, Gracie is fast asleep. She slowly get's out of bed, wondering what is going on in the other room. She walks out to the living room to find Max, Brighton, and Maggie playing freeze-tag. This is a side of Maxwell Sheffield that she had never seen. She just watched the kids, and yes even Max glow with happiness. Brighton: Ha, I got you Dad. Max: Ah, man. Maggie: Dad you can't talk. I am going to get you Brighton. Brighton: Has hell frozen over? Maggie: Ha , ha I got you!!!!!! I win! Fran walks out to the living room. Fran: Not if I can help it. She tags Maggie and undoes Max than Brighton than she thinks for a minute. She decides to undo Maggie. Fran: Now go get dressed you two, wake your sister up too. Maggie and Brighton: Ok see ya Fran. Fran: Have fun kids. Since when do you play freeze-tag? Max: I used to play it all of the time with them, before my wife died. Fran: This is a great side of you, you should show it off more. Max: Well now that you like it , maybe I just will. Fran: Good. About last night, I am so sorry. Would you like to try again tonight? Max: I though you would never ask. Fran: Is that a yes? Max: I would say so yeah. Fran: Good. The kids trample out all ready to go. Fran and Max think. Max: Well, I guess it's our turn to get dressed. Fran: Let's go to our room. Max: Ok. (smiling sheepishly) Fran: (Whispering into Max's ear) I am not sure if I can wait till tonight.............................. ******* RACHAEL ADDS: Max shys away from Fran, and says: Max: Yes, well, I brought our skis and I would hate to have them go to waste. Fran: I got a couple things that I was born with that I don't want to go to waste either. Max: Miss Fine...Children come on get your skis. How long can it take people to get dressed? Oh, look who I'm asking. Fran: Excuse me I don't take all that long. Just cause I gotta color... Ah, I mean, set my hair. Pick out the right outfit and then you have to pick out the right shoes and... Max: OK I give. Enough. The kids come trampling down the stairs. Max: All right, let's go. As he walks by Brighton, he elbows him. Max: Gottcha last! Fran smiles. This was truly a whole other side of Max and she liked it. Out on the slopes... Max: Well, since most of these mountains are really steep and rocky, we'll just practice going down this bunny slope. Maggie: Dad, this is the driveway. Max: No, it's not. It's right next to the driveway. Fran: Not to mention if any of us gets hurt, we can just get in the car and drive to the nearest hospital. Max: Thank you, Miss Fine, for the vote of confidence. You know if you were going to pick on me, you could have stayed in the cabin! Fran: Jeez, I was just joking. You don't have to get so edgy. Max: What was I thinking last night? You are just as mean and coldhearted as C.C. Fran: Here we go, he's going to take it back. You know it wouldn't be the first.... Before Fran can finish her sentence, Max kisses her for no reason at all. The kids are beyond words and as Max pulls away he glances in Fran's eyes. Max: Is that your idea of taking it back? Fran: Mr. Sheffield, if that was my idea of taking it back, I would want you to take it back every day. Max smiles and they move on to a better hill. Max agrees that it was stupid and that he was just too pigheaded and arogant to admit it. As they're walking away: Brighton: What is this? Male menopause? Maggie: Either that or a mid life crisis. Gracie: No, that was 3 months ago. I think that it's just Dad knowing the fact that he likes Fran, but is unable to convince himself that if he went for Fran, he wouldn't be cheating on Mom. Maggie and Brighton role their eyes. They go to an area of BUNNY sking, which is the easiest level. Max: All right, you three run along, but stay on this trail. I'm going to help Miss Fine. We'll see you at the bottom. (If we get that far), he says to himself, but Fran overhears. Fran: Hey. Just cause I've never been sking before and I've already fallen twice walking in a straight line....Oh forget it. Max and Fran take a ski lift to the top. One of Fran's skis comes off and Max grabs it for her just in time and helps her down off the ski lift thing. They are so close Fran can smell Max's cologne. Aramis, the one she had given him for his birthday. Max: All right now, Miss Fne, the important thing to remember is that you have to stay balanced and you don't want your skis pointing crossed or straight down the hill. You want to zig zag. Max does a little demo and Fran just looks straight at his tush. Fran: I think I have the right instuctions. Here goes nothing. and before Max could do anything, Fran was going straight down the hill with her feet pointing straight down the slope. Fran: I can't stop. Max chases after her and catches her just before she hits the trash can. They fall over each other and end up covered in snow. It looked like Fran had used Max for a mattress. Max: Are you allright? Fran: Yeah. As they draw closer to one another, Brighton breaks the silence. Brighton: This snow is too wet. I think we should go back. The other two chime in : I 'm with you. Max looks at Fran and sighs, then back at the kids. Max: All right, let's go. That night, as Fran was laying on the pull out bed with the blanket wrapped about her, and Max next to her looking like he wasn't planning on going anywhere any time soon, a knock comes to the door. Max: I really think this wasn't meant to be. Fran, obviously disappointed: Who could it be at this hour? Max gets off the bed, tucks his shirt back in, looks at the door, and leans over and kisses Fran passionately. Max: Unless this is an emergency, I'll be back! Fran: Thank you, Terminator Sheffield! Max goes to the door, running his hand through his hair as he goes. Lately it hadn't had that boyish flippy thing in the front, so Max was trying to fluff and puff his hair as he went to the door. There is another knock. He opens the door and a Ranger is standing there (Robert Redford would be a good candidate for guest star in this spot!) Ranger: Good evening sir. Are you Max Sheffield? Max: Yes. Ranger: I'm sorry to bug you at this time, sir, but we just got a call from a man named..... (he checks his notes). Max looks over at Fran and grins. So far no emergency. Rager cont'd: Niles. Yeah Niles. He wanted me to tell you that C.C. came over yesterday with a fever. During the night she had this hallucination spell and then she totally blanked out. They called the paramedics, and when they got there, C.C. was runnig a fever of 103. They rushed her into the hospital. No word on her condition as of now. Max: Thanks. We'll be there as soon as we can. Ranger leaves. Max closes the door. Fran: That's an emergency. Max: Like I said, it was never meant to be. Come on help me get the kids dressed. Fran walks with Max to the kids rooms. She is obviously upset about tonight, but if she was lucky there would be other nights. (Continued in Part Two)